G Series Fit

I chose an advertisement called G Series Fit from Men's Health magazine.  The target audience is from consumers how are active and working out, looking for the best results.  The advertisement is three pages long and gives the viewer an entire sense of what the product has to offer and how it will help you get what you really want out of your work outs.  The G Series Fit is a three step pre-workout, post workout, and recovery package to add to your daily routine.

Advertising

             G Series Fit is a Gatorade advertisement in Men's Health magazine.  This advertisement is very effective because it uses the image of the product and punch lines to draw the consumer to purchase the product.  The product is presented on a three page advertisement directly in the middle of the magazine.  The main focus is on the second page where the entire page is a picture of the three different phases of the product that make up the G Series.  This is an effective advertisement because the different products offered with in the G Series can be used by virtually anyone at any given time. 

An ineffective advertisement can be seen on TV here locally in Topeka, KS.  It is the Mattress Hub commercial with the cheap sheep theme song.  The commercial doesn't show the consumer much information and the way they try to draw in the buyer is quite annoying.  The commercials play repeatedly throughout the day and the theme song is to simple and corny.

Elements of an Effective Layout

             Dorothy Cohen the author of the article "Elements of an Effective Layout", uses many analytical tools to break down the way viewer interpret advertisements.  Cohen suggests many different elements as a way of critically looking at an advertisement.  Some of the examples given in the article are balance, unity, movement, proportion, simplicity, and clarity.

            The advertisement that I chose to analyze uses proportion as a central focus to appeal the the buyer.  Looking at the advertisement of the G-sires, Gatorade in Mens Health magazine it is evident that proportion is effectively used by the spacing of the product in relation to the text of the advertisement.
            The most important element of movement.  When Cohen describing movement, she explains how the reader's eyes move across the advertisement.  Proportion plays a huge part in the balance of an effective article.  Generally readers scan across advertisements from either top to bottom or right to left which makes it important for one to design an advertisement where the reader moves successful across the advertisement in search of the main point.

Democracy of Goods

            The purpose of advertising is to appeal to the largest crowd available, and the best way to do that is to advertise a product that is affordable for all.  As the economy has grown and economic classes have grown more and more apart it is difficult to sell a product that can interest a broad group of people.

            The author of "The Democracy of Goods" used they way of cream of wheat, and how it is an affordable product to all social class be it income or ethnicity.  It is easy to see the advertisements that try to eliminate the lower classes, such as the Dos Equis commercials depicting only the upper class as users of the product.  As described in "The Democracy of Goods" it is easy to see that cream of wheat has no impact of with income level can purchase the product.

Summary of Persuasive essay

In summary of my rough draft of my persuasive essay, the main focus is why former NFL and MBL Deion Sanders is the most accomplished American athlete to have ever played.  My thesis statement is: " I believe among all of these great athletes former MLB outfielder and NFL cornerback nicknamed “Prime Time” Deion Sanders stands above all.  Throughout his numerous achievements during his nine years in Major League Baseball (MLB) and fourteen years in the National Football League (NFL), Deion provides me with the position to claim he is the most successful American athlete of all time."  This is a long and bold thesis statement but with information provided I believe my argument stands its ground.  One of my main counter arguments is: " With the broad spectrum of highly accomplished and decorated athletes many have the ability to argue with my claim of who the most successful athlete might be."  I believe this is a valid counter argument because many people have their own opinion of who the greatest athlete might be.  My rebuttal paragraph is strong and keeps focus on the main idea and thesis of my essay. 

Section II - The Elements of Style

             After reading the section on The Elements of Style, I found many things beneficial.  The section that stood out the most was the section with nouns and verbs in opposition to adverbs and adjectives.  This section would seems to be the most helpful because I was unaware of some key tools that I could be using to improve my writing skills.  The examples give a clear description of how to improve this area of your writing.

Research

Work Cited

“Deion Sanders.” Cartonrep.com. N.p., 2006-2011. Web. 24 October 2011.

<http://www.cantonrep.com/sports/hall_of_fame/x566171724/Haden-Deion-was-best-ever>

"Deion Sanders." Baseball-reference.com. N.p., 2000. Web. 24 October 2011.

         <http://www.baseball-reference.com/minors/player.cgi?id=sander001dei.>

”Deion Sanders.” Pro-football-reference.com. N.p., 2000-2001. Web. 24 October 2011.

            <http://www.pro-football-reference.com/players/S/SandDe00.htm.>

Klein, Frederick C. "On Sports: Where Sport Meets Theater, Deion Stars." Wall Street Journal: B12. The Wall Street Journal. Jan 27 1995. Web. 23 Oct. 2011 <http://search.proquest.com/docview/398437881?accountid=29089>.

Effective Argument

           I believe that Martin Luther King Jr.  is addressing in his letter not to someone specific, but trying to help everyone around the country understand the situations hes placed himself in and reasons for his push for progress. At this time, many people were hard-headed and didn't want any type of "change." Where in reality, change at the time was the only opportunity for everyone to get along no matter what race or skin color. He was effectively addressing his point that the waiting game was no longer a act that he wanted to follow. Having heard the word "wait" so many times in his life that he was simply not going to abide by the word any longer. The letter read in a forceful and demanding tone as Martin Luther King Jr. was no longer settling and sitting around. He had a goal in mind and he was tired of sitting and watching his brothers and sisters treated differently. Equality was the only option he saw and I believe that his notion was heard effectively spoke.

           The Either-or logical fallacies were the most commonly seen throughout King's letter. At many times throughout the letter he makes statement basically stating either we make changes now, or our surroundings will stay the same as they are. A perfect example is shown with multiple occurrences when talking
 about the word "wait," and how much the word disgust him. More logical fallacies are seen in the form of begging the question. King speaks multiple times about the rights that his brothers and sisters around him do not have and should be given more freedom.

Topic

There has been much debate in the recent years about who might the best athlete to ever live.  This topic presents the opportunity for a well argumented persuasive essay.  In my eyes Muhammad Ali is the best athlete to have ever participated in a main stream sport - Boxing.  Although most recently boxing has taken a "hit" in publicity and marketability by the up and coming UFC, it still has much to be proud about.

Fallacies

Example: Either we begin using electrically run vehicles or the world as we know it will end.

-This is an Either-or fallacie that is misleading. With the pollution released into the atmosphere, problems may arise, but no individual can correctly estimate that the world can end from this issue.

Example: Even though I'm not 21, everyone else is drinking, so I will too.

-This is a bandwagon appeal. One may assume that everyone else is drinking illegally but in reality their are still individuals out there that refuse to.

Example: After failing my first two calculus tests, theirs no way I will ever be able to pass the class.

-This is an example of a hasty generalization. One may think that after failing two test theirs no way to improve but in reality, a few more hours spent on the homework and possibly working with a tutor, improvements can be made.

Opinions Matter

        Ordering pizza on Thursday nights has been a big issue the past couple of weeks for my friends and I. Each one of my friends thinks that their choices in pizza toppings are liked by all.  Well, not everyone is in agreement and arguments break out all the time.  I came up with the suggestion of going to a restaurant where all different choices of topping would be available.  This would allow everyone to get the topping that they prefer, and resolve all of the arguing.  Unfortunately my friends prefer to have the pizza delivered to the house.  My rebuttal to this statement was that delivered pizza limits the choices for everyone.  Cici's pizza for example offers a wide range of different toppings that would satisfy us all.  Finally my friends agreed to go to Cici's, where everyone's needs will be satisfied.  Unfortunately in my argument I forgot that I had given extra incentive to go, which was that I would drive everyone, this is never a pleasant experience. 

Muddiest Point- Persuasive Essay

Persuasive essays require much planning in terms of structure, message and creativity.  Selecting the correct topic will make or break the essay.  A list of forbidden topics have been posted and will help stir me in the correct direction when choosing a topic.  More importantly, I am having trouble finding a topic that has enough support or information to be a well written essay.  A sample essay in this case would be a huge help, not only to get a perspective but to get ideas flowing for brainstorming.  The guidelines given in angle are easy to understand, but choosing a well supported topic is becoming somewhat difficult.

Notaro - Personal Narrative #3

Does the writer provide an introduction that grabs the reader’s attention?

 I thought the introduction was well thought out.  Talking about the unwanted chores of family.  It gives a good indication of what the essay is going to entail.

Does the writer focus on significant events in his or her life rather than trying to narrate his or her entire life’s story?

 The writer focuses on the specific event of taking her grandfather to do his errands.  

Do the descriptions of the characters or important objects in the memoirs include sensory details that help readers to visualize, hear, smell or feel them?

Has the writer quoted speech or dialogue so as to reveal some important aspect of a character’s personality?

 This essay lacked sensory details compared to the last personal narrative.  This story should call for many sensory descriptions because it was a story about the adventures of grandparents.  The adventures with grandparents have plenty of opportunity for this, because life is seen in a different light with elders.

Does the writer narrate or describe events in a way that allows readers to connect them to experiences or relationships in their own lives?

Yes, this is a strong point of this essay.  The trip to the store with her grandpa is normally a routine event, but this time it had some excitement and uncertainty with it.

Has the writer explained the significance of the people, events, places, or objects in shaping who he or she has become? Does this explanation make sense in relation to the events, people, places, and things described throughout the memoir?

This story takes about the people that are most important in life.  Grandparents are a very special group of people. They have a specific insight to life that many don’t.  This story could have given a better description of how her and her grandpa relate to one another.

Does the writer provide a conclusion that reinforces the point of the story? The conclusion lacked in this story.  Although it was a good conclusion it didn’t reinforce the main themes of the essay, which were spending time with your grandparents whether but choice or not.

White - Personal Narrative #2

Does the writer provide an introduction that grabs the reader’s attention?

The introduction didn’t have the attention grabber that had imagined it would have.  Growing up around the lake I know what the feeling is of being out on the water early in the morning.  There are so many options for attentions getters with this idea.

Does the writer focus on significant events in his or her life rather than trying to narrate his or her entire life’s story? This story was unique because it was about the past experience of the lake as a kid, and the new experience of the lake as a father.  I feel as though the story would not be as complete if there was not an entire explanation of the life of his childhood at the lake.  It allows the reader to compare the two situations to what he is now experiencing as a father.

Do the descriptions of the characters or important objects in the memoirs include sensory details that help readers to visualize, hear, smell or feel them? Yes this story used excellent sensory details to depict the different experiences at the lake.  My favorite descriptor words were used when the lake was being described in the morning.  I agree with White, that there is nothing more memorable than the lake in the early morning.

Has the writer quoted speech or dialogue so as to reveal some important aspect of a character’s personality? Yes the writer gave an account of the experiences he had as a boy at the lake.  This gave the reader something to compare the two different perspectives too.

Does the writer narrate or describe events in a way that allows readers to connect them to experiences or relationships in their own lives? Yes, this story is something I had experienced growing up with as well.

Has the writer explained the significance of the people, events, places, or objects in shaping who he or she has become? Does this explanation make sense in relation to the events, people, places, and things described throughout the memoir? This is the best aspect of this story, because the writer tells us the images of what the lake use to look like and how it had or hasn’t change since then.

Does the writer provide a conclusion that reinforces the point of the story? Yes the conclusion gives a concrete feeling of a father son relationship.  This is a reoccurring theme throughout this story.

Sedaris Personal Narrative

Does the writer provide an introduction that grabs the reader’s attention?

Yes, the introduction paragraph grabbed my attention because enrolling in a new school is something everyone can relate to but he is a 41-year-old nontraditional student.

Does the writer focus on significant events in his or her life rather than trying to narrate his or her entire life’s story? Yes, at the beginning I thought that it was becoming to specific with the different circumstances that came up on a daily basis.  As I continued though it all came together and made for a well-organized essay.

Do the descriptions of the characters or important objects in the memoirs include sensory details that help readers to visualize, hear, smell or feel them? The different techniques used to depict what he was going through as a new student in a French class were clever.  He gave a good picture of some of the troubles that he had to face as a new student not even knowing the alphabet. It gave me a sense as though I was there. 

Has the writer quoted speech or dialogue so as to reveal some important aspect of a character’s personality? Yes, the dialogue between the French teacher and the students were very useful.  They demonstrated the cold hearted personality of the teacher and the worrisome new students.

Does the writer narrate or describe events in a way that allows readers to connect them to experiences or relationships in their own lives? Yes, the flow of the essay allowed me to picture an old memory that I had of a first day of class.  And how I had some similar feelings upon getting called on.

Has the writer explained the significance of the people, events, places, or objects in shaping who he or she has become? Does this explanation make sense in relation to the events, people, places, and things described throughout the memoir? All of the events that had taken place come and tie back together at the end of the essay. The classroom setting was a consistent place for this essay and allowed the reader to better understand what was taking place.

Does the writer provide a conclusion that reinforces the point of the story? Yes, this is the best part of the essay in my eyes.  First because the conclusion ties back into the main point and thesis of the essay.  And finally he has the opportunity to demonstrate what he has learned so far.  Little does he know that he still needs some help.

Sentence Variety

Sam got in her car and drove to the mall. She went to the shoe store to buy a pair of boots along with a shoeshine kit. She went to the food court and bought a burrito with onions and peppers on it.  Shortly after Sam ate the burrito. At the pretzel stand Sam saw a cute boy and blushed when he looked at her. The boy walked over to Sam. Sam said hi. The boy wrinkled up his nose. Confused Sam said hi again. The boy gagged and walked away. Sam was shocked, she had realized that she had bad breath. Crying Sam ran to the bathroom. She shined her new boots and put them on.  Sam walked out of the bathroom with confidence and found the boy. Sam kicked him using her new boots and told him he needed manners.  The boy fell to the ground. Sam walked away and out of the mall.

Writing Principles

Omitting needless words is an aspect of writing I struggle with.  I find that I tend to write the way I speak, which leads to unwanted filler words.  I find that in my writing filler words can also lead to run- on sentences and bad grammar.  Normally these needless words go unnoticed, but in the case of writing a formal essay they are evident.

Choosing a suitable design and holding to it, is a positive trait of writing that I learned in High School. Having a good consensus of the topic along with an organized description or essay is something that was engraved in me through out English class in High School. A good thesis allows for a well written essay. Having a strong thesis sets up the writer to be able to refer back through out the essay.

During the revision process I can improve my writing by having multiple people edit my paper to help eliminate unwanted filler words. Reading my paper out loud has helped in the past of eliminating those words. For my next essay I hope to see an improvement in this aspect.

Pressures

Two of the biggest pressures I have had to deal with so far in college are parental and self-induced pressures.  I am taking classes in the biology department in order to apply to dental school.  The acceptance in to dental school is very competitive. Parental pressure is a big pressure I encounter everyday, having my father be a physician he knows what it take to get accepted. This puts a lot of pressure on me because I know I need to live up to both his expectations and mine. Securities or a life plan is also something that influences me as well. I know that I need to succeed in school in order to provide a good life, not only for myself but my family.

Success in the classroom comes with great competition. I have a lot of friends that also want to apply for medical school. Seeing them work hard at their studies makes me want to work twice as hard, sometimes to hard. This in itself puts a lot of pressure on me.

Although being a junior I have grown and learned how to cope with stress over my three years in college. Not every plan or goal is going to turn out 100% the way you want it to. Understanding that different events may side tract you from your original plan, but it might turn out better for you in the end. From what I have experienced is that if you at least have a certain goal in life and you go for it; it will all work out in the end.

Summary Assignment

Describe the writing assignment: The summary assignment I picked was “College Pressures”, it was most interesting for me because I am a college student and understand some of the situations portrayed in this essay.

Describe your topic: The essay I chose to write about was titled “College Pressures” By William Zinsser.

State your thesis or your dominant and controlling idea(s): My thesis for the summary paper was stated as - College is a time for students to be exposed to new experiences and challenges, and in return are faced with troubling pressures such as economic, parental, peer, and self-induced pressures

Describe the audience for your written work: The audience for my summary was targeted to anyone who wanted to get a brief but complete understanding about the reading, and still be interested enough to read the essay by Zinsser.

Describe the writing process you used to develop this work: As I read the essay for the first time I made notes and comments in the margin of the book. The reason being is that I wanted to pull out the central ideas and point that the author William Zinsser was trying to get across to the reader.

How many drafts have you made: ___2___

Approximate time spent prewriting, planning & drafting this work: _4_____ hours

Describe the outside assistance you have received on this work (from instructor, peers, tutors & others): After completing the summary I had my essay reviewed and peer edited by my roommate who I believe is a good writer.

Describe the revisions you have made after you drafted this work: After I had completed the main draft, I went back through and added more detail to the essay, such as key quotes or phrases from the reading.

What areas of sentence structure, word choice, grammar and punctuation did you pay special attention as you proofread and edited this work?  Please describe: As I edited my paper I paid special attention to sentence structure. I wanted to make sure that I eliminated as many run - on and fragment sentences as I could.

Discuss some of the concerns you have with this work: I have two concerns with my summary. The first concern I had was to be careful of being to specific in regards to explaining the main points of my paper. The second concern I had in writing my paper was to not be repetitive.

Discuss some of the positives of this written work: A positive aspect of my summary was organization. I feel as though my main point revert back to my thesis in a well-organized manor.

University days - Public Speaking

I will never forget my Freshmen year of high school and my Public speaking class. Mr. Ramsey was the teacher and he was an all business, professional, debate team coach, mean, old man. He made the course more terrible than it already was for me at the time. I was new to the school being a freshmen and did not want to look dumb in front of my classmates. The older students told stories of what Mr. Ramsey was like and they tried to scare us even more. The first speech we had to give was a personal informative speech. Mr. Ramsey was very short and veg when it came to instruction on what he was expecting for this speech. Which made me worry even more. The next day we had to give our speech and every hour leading up to that speech I was a nervous wreck. I gave my speech and I was just re-leaved to be done. Although throughout my speech I received dirty, stern, cold looks from the teacher. I did not score well on my first speech lets just say. I asked my dad how I should handle the situation and he said to go talk to him after class. And so I went to talk to Mr. Ramsey that next day to clear up our misunderstandings. I struggled throughout the year to maintain a good grade. Looking back on that class it forced me to mature and handle certain situations, and I am appreciative for that. 

Notebook Keeping

I would agree with Didion, that keeping a notebook is a good way to keep in touch with oneself. Although Didion states," That how reading her notebook would have no meaning to anyone else who read it." If one were to share a blog that has no real meaning or way for others to relate then the blog would go unread.

I can understand why she would find that writing down daily occurrences, such as a diary would be boring. I agree with her approach to her daily entries. To write down things as she saw them and to put her own twist into some of her ideas.

I individually have never taken the time to keep a notebook of my daily thoughts. Personally if I find something is important enough to write down then it will be kept in my memory. Although I do like the idea of keeping a way to collect my thoughts. As it is my first blog (this one)  it has caught my interest. The social media has made it much easier for our entertainment and ways to stay informed. Our social media today eliminates person to person story telling along with roomers. I believe notebook keeping has changed over the past 40 years as its more for entertainment now a days then self recollection.

About me

I am someone who has many changing hobbies, currently a few of my hobbies are any and all types of sports, drawing/ pottery, and dentistry. My first two years of college I invested most of my time playing football for Washburn. This year I decided not to play and to focus on my major and lifetime goals. My major is Exercise Physiology, with the hopes of becoming a dentist in the near future.

My hometown is Kansas city, Kansas. I am the oldest of four boys, along with a great dane as the family pet. Some say my mother is a saint. Two of my brothers attend high school at Rockhurst High, and one goes to school at Crieghton University in Omaha, Nebraska.